My approach to conflict resolution begins with this key idea, that God sits with us in our conflicted situation and nudges us to a deeper walk with him in the midst of unresolved relationship conflict. He holds us in our pain and offers our hearts comfort and fresh courage to engage with the knotty situation that has us in a chokehold. He is the Father of lights who holds out strength for our weakness, beauty for our ashes, redemption for our brokenness. 

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To be clear, I’m not advocating “being nice” and “trusting God” as a mask for fear and victimhood. I am not saying that God is the playground monitor who wags his finger at fighting children and says, “Say sorry and play nicely.” I am advocating the small but significant steps that we can take even when things seem hopeless that help us see clearer, grow stronger, and love deeper. I believe that the honesty that begins with God and leads to authentic self-reflection can flow into genuinely restored relationships. I believe that tough but healing conversations can open the way for practical solutions that are about the good of all, not one at the unwilling expense of the other. I believe that we can come to a place of peace even when the thing that’s breaking our heart does not change in spite of our efforts and prayers.